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Okay, I've got a view lighthearted answers to typical questions, which I use to evoke smiles (and good ratings), which I'm offering, and I would
like other's to share theirs, for having an arsenal of them makings the boredom of driving a little easier:

Rider: How long have you been driving for Uber?

Driver: Too long, you got a job offer?

Rider: How do you like driving for Uber?

Driver: Hmmm, let's see, well, It's not as bad as living in Bangladesh, but not quite as good as having sex with Eva Green, so, somewhere in between.


You get the idea......
 

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Rider: Why do you like driving for Uber?

Driver: Because being a serial killer proved to be too much work. *intense stare*

Edit... Maybe that's why they tip me. They are scared not to... Lol
 

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Okay, I've got a view lighthearted answers to typical questions, which I use to evoke smiles (and good ratings), which I'm offering, and I would
like other's to share theirs, for having an arsenal of them makings the boredom of driving a little easier:

Rider: How long have you been driving for Uber?

Driver: Too long, you got a job offer?

Rider: How do you like driving for Uber?

Driver: Hmmm, let's see, well, It's not as bad as living in Bangladesh, but not quite as good as having sex with Eva Green, so, somewhere in between.

You get the idea......
Note: this is when driving a Lyft customer.

Rider: so do you drive for both Uber and Lyft?

Driver: I use to but now drive for Lyft because Uber doesn't even allowing tipping and people don't tip on Uber. Have you heard about all the controversy going on with Uber?

Rider: (Sub conscious informed they must tip)

Works pretty good but you have to move to another point or else they will think that's all you said it for was to notion they should tip. Lol
 

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Rider: Why do you drive for uber?

Driver: I like to wear down on my vehical and get new vehical a year later, then wear down myself standing all day haveing scheduled pee breaks well my boss hovers above me telling me im expandable keep working i own you.

Rider:My life sucks thats me

Driver: With my job everyone screws me over cuz pax are stupid and when my boss screws me over he has no balls to come out himself and tell us what other BS is getting tooken away or added.
So let me do my job as you know how it feels to be bossed around
 

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Note: this is when driving a Lyft customer.

Rider: so do you drive for both Uber and Lyft?

Driver: I use to but now drive for Lyft because Uber doesn't even allowing tipping and people don't tip on Uber. Have you heard about all the controversy going on with Uber?

Rider: (Sub conscious informed they must tip)

Works pretty good but you have to move to another point or else they will think that's all you said it for was to notion they should tip. Lol
I've actually used something similar when asked "which one do you like better/which one do you recommend/what's the difference" themed questions.

"Well, from the customer convenience perspective, Lyft is much better. More and more folks seem inclined to make a point of tipping, and Lyft allows you to do it in-app...."

More often than not I get a tip when I respond that way, even if it's only the two or three singles they have in their wallet.
 

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Note: this is when driving a Lyft customer.

Rider: so do you drive for both Uber and Lyft?

Driver: I use to but now drive for Lyft because Uber doesn't even allowing tipping and people don't tip on Uber. Have you heard about all the controversy going on with Uber?

Rider: (Sub conscious informed they must tip)

Works pretty good but you have to move to another point or else they will think that's all you said it for was to notion they should tip. Lol
Or you could flip it on Uber riders.

Q. Do you also drive for Lyft/both?

A. Yes. I started with Lyft first because they allowed tipping and since Uber now allows cash tips, I started driving for both.

And yes, I agree with moving on with the conversation.

Q. What do you do on your off time?

A.
Carnivore Font Adaptation Terrestrial animal Screenshot
 

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Why don't you drive for uber?, you'll make more money...

Because in a taxi the TIP ALONE! can easily exceed the entire uber payout for the same ride, and i stay just as busy.
 

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Q:
Why don't you drive for uber?, you'll make more money...
A: CORRECTAMUNDO! I do drive for Uber and I do make more money as a result! Uber offers taxis here. In fact, you are in an Uber Taxi right now!


Because in a taxi the TIP ALONE! can easily exceed the entire uberX payout for the same ride
(editorial changes in boldface)

In fact, the tip on Uber Taxi, alone also exceeds the entire Uber payout on UberX.

Q: You did not know that you could tip through the application on Uber?

A: No! I didn't know that!

You can, but only on Uber Taxi! Yer kain't do it on no Uber X!



Customer: But Uber says the tip is included.
Me: It is, as long as you ride Uber Taxi. It is
NOT on UberX. If you want to tip your UberX driver, and you should tip him, you must use cash (a dollar or two is appreciated) or ask him if he has a SQUARE®.


Q: Which one is better, Uber or Lyft?
A: Uber Taxi.

Q: This car is real quiet? Is this a hybrid?
A: No, but the hamster on the exercise wheel under the hood is. He can run for twelve hours on one bottle of water and one dish of food.

Q: Is this a Prius?
A: Your first clue should be that you actually have head and leg room. If it were a Prius, you would have had to shoehorn yourself into the car.

Q: Is this a Prius?
A: You just complimented me on knowing where I am going and not hugging a Jippy Yess. You do understand that "Prius" is Japanese for "clueless"; Correct?

....and one from when I was a much younger man and driving a cab. Usually, this happened while I was napping on a taxi stand or sitting at a red light:

Q: Are you available? (cute female)
A: Are you married? (accompanied by lecherous leer)

......................or another one from back in the day when sometimes you had to go into the address to fetch your customer:


Q:
Are you a cab?
A: If I am, whoever owns this building is going to be pretty P.O.-ed at whoever drove me into the lobby.

OR

A: Awwww, c'mon, now. I know that I could stand to lose a kilo or two, but could we please be maybe just a little bit charitable?
 
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