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693 Posts
Ride Share's Ten Commandments
- Covet Thy Gas.
- The Car is your *****. Pimp it. Keep it beautiful on the outside and reliable on the inside with nothing more than, Tires, Brakes and Oil. Put the Cow out to pasture the moment it demands attention.
- Thou Shall Cherry Pick.
- No Pickups over 4 miles away. ( < = to $1 in cost to vehicle on you.)
- No Pickups over 5 miles away, Lest they be of the 45+ or 60+ minute kind in absence of Traffic.
- Cover All miles with Income.
- Upon arrival at the ping: Play: Your 5 min. walk up music.
- Introduce yourself, open up the car, load the bags etc.
- Any policy infraction is an immediate vocal shutdown, leading to 5 minutes elapsed and shuffle.
- Shuffle drunks
- Shuffle too many people no seatbelts
- Shuffle no show at Arrival
- Shuffle kids
- Do not negatively engage passengers, just dispassionately reference the community guidelines that have broken. sit back and watch the clock count down to 5 … then cancel.
- Thou Shalt Not Swipe Nay Accepteth thine ride until the passengers beith they agreeable, belted in, absent of attitude and compliant.
- Get a Tip Sign. And a Tip box. Now that you have taken out the trash in advance the remaining passengers are great the conversations are great, etc. They want to know that they are helping the community with their dollars. Encourage them to do more.
- Wear a Mask. Be fake. Bluff it. Get good at this, quickly. You are always great, everything is always wonderpluckingful and, all the conversations have been a blast, all the previous passengers have all tipped, too.
- Pause. Now Ask:
- How's your day? The rest of the whole ride, you are engaging them in conversation, but really concentrating on the GPS. They will love you for listening. Don't ramble about your life, they are paying you to listen, not talk.
- Stars? F that. Just get a cam if it hits the fan.
- Slow the F down. Show them a safe drive, let them relax, they have already paid their fee, you're not getting any more for jetting them home, in fact, you're getting less. If you have the time to configure your own route, do it, and make more.
- Trust yet Verify. Russian: Doveryay Poka Proveryay. Surges, Personal Power piss, it's all just behavioural science methodology to compel you to do what would make UBER and LYFT more money, and waste more of your time and gas doing it. Stay put.
In conclusion, Thanks Uber and Lyft for eliminating the Surges and for Lying to me about Heat Maps, and Potential Surcharges. I don't trust you. I trust my 1040 Tax return. I drive, You pay.
I used to be trepidatious about picking up drunks and surge prices. It was a risk vs. reward. Now, that you've removed the incentive to working with this crowd, I say F. Them. Let them sit in the cold, I'm not dealing with their noise at anything less than a guarantee of $3/ mile. Ready for that?? Well, now that you've deputized them as capable to rate your workforce while intoxicated and potentially fire all of us, I've decided to take the smart road.
Park, Wait as long as it takes and get a good ride that's closeby. If I accept the ping and they suck, I'll mention the infraction at 4:59 minutes, and cancel and get the $5. Or $3.75.
If they are cool, great, let's both keep them on the hook for another future ride.
I know that now my area is saturated with drivers and it's time to weed them out. Well, I'm in it for the long haul- I'm weeding out the weeders, the drunks that you have given the power to fire or deactivate me.
