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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Uber is continuously improving to make sure that partners and riders will have a great Uber experience.

We definitely want all of our partners to be successful and are always endeavoring to find ways to help our driver-partners make the most of their time on the road.

To ensure this going forward all Uber staff and management will now be required to have an in-depth understanding of how Uber works from a driver's perspective. This will ensure that our drivers have a truly great Uber experience. All Uber staff will now undergo a mandatory two month induction as an Uber driver. This is effective immediately.

This will enable our very valued driver partners to get prompt, detailed and relevant responses from Uber, as our mature, experienced, and knowledgeable staff will now have an understanding of what a truly great driving experience our valued partner drivers really have.

Terms and conditions below

· You will be advised to use you "discretion" and break every State and Federal law including the ATO's - don't worry Uber does this all the time, and Uber don't even pay real tax in Australia. Clever little Uber bunnies aren't we.
· All staff are required to drive continuously for Uber for a minimum of two months
· Days: 7 days per week - we don't care if you are sick & dying from some PAX transmitted disease.
· Hours: 5.00am - 2.00am
· Break: 2 hours off every 10 hrs - Uber don't mind if you work 24hrs straight if you like.
· We will pay you when we feel like it.
· Must have own car, or why not rent one from our lovely sub-prime loan sharks
· Pay is what you earn driving (sorry, not what we said at interview) you will not be entitled to super, sick/annual/parental/carer leave, training, or bonuses, nor are you entitled to a regular wage, whilst experiencing how fabulous it is driving for Uber.
· Uber will decide how many rides you are entitled to get each day/week - you won't notice this though. You will think there are too many drivers on the road. Our newbie's get the most rides
· Removal of fares without notice -with NO recourse. Uber's accounts/CSR team are too busy being fluffy to care.
· Change in fares without notice - because we can
· Must learn to live BELOW the basic wage - better move house, food - what's that and cancel that two day holiday with the kids in the backyard. Oh, and your bills - ah forget them, we at Uber don't care
· Insurance, of course Uber have your back (up against the wall)
· Assistance from CSR's will be handled by fluffy brain dead bunnies with names like Princess
· Be prepared to spend a day or more like a week or two sending constant emails to get an intelligent answer that could possibly relate to your questions to Uber

You will also be subject to the further following conditions

o Must retain a perfect 5 rating on ALL rides
o Be subjected to irrational app outages - we at Uber don't care
o Long distance pings - Mandatory to accept, otherwise you will be taken off line - didn't tell you that did we that its mandatory
o Removal from platform on Uber's whim, at any time, without notice or recourse, for any reason - including Uber's own mistakes
o You will be subjected to constant uploads of the same docs because Uber fluffy bunnies can't read or comprehend English, or anything else , whilst being taken off the platform
o Accept changes and conditions in your contract via the app as you log in before 5.00am - this ensures that you can't/don't read it as you can't generally view the doc and read it before missing out on your heavenly bestowed rides from Uber
o Privacy, well no, there isn't any - we have access to your entire life and contents via your phone. We track you; we are in the business of data collecting/selling to the highest bidder - just wait and see.
o Enjoy the abuse, rudeness, pettiness, demands, smell, vomit and possible violence from scamming PAX. Don't worry - Uber has your back (up against a wall).
o Be assured Uber does nothing ensure the safety of their "valued partners"
o Enjoy the flexibility - sure you have kids to feed and payments to make, so what!!
o Of course you will love the flexibility of driving your asset into the ground. The chariot needs new tyres, muffler, horn, steering wheel, transmission, brakes, motor, gearbox, seats, floor, lights, windows, axle, suspension etc.
o Opps forgot tax, insurance, rego, fines etc
o Don't forget we will reward you with useless discounts from companies and services that that you don't use and will overcharge you anyway - wow what an incentive for Uber to increase their earnings, the companies pay us.
o Rest assured that we at Uber care for our driver partners - some suckers believe that
o Most of all enjoy the work life balance - isn't it just great being an Uber employee!!!
 

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It's too easy to get deactivated. They should be bearing the brunt of 30 min ETAs, frequent pax cancels, pax wanting to smoke/drink in their car, stoner pax, rude pax, the self-entitled millennial pax, and the pax who refuses to walk 10m down the street to where your car is. Deactivation would be an easy way out for them. And also make them do lunchtime CBD Eats trips.

See, if I were a fulltime employee having to go drive, and if I found out that the driver experience was that bad, I'd try to escape by getting myself deactivated... After all, I'd still have my regular techie job paying me far better.
 
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