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As I was tooling down Hollywood Blvd, I noticed this very tall man with long hair wearing a white cape and sandals taking pictures with Japanese tourists around Hollywood and Highland.

As a resident of Hollywood, I've seen this man before, riding the #2 bus to whereever he lives, most likely the Holy Land of SilverLake.

But, this time I happened to get a "Ping" and it was from Jesus/GOD himself.

He got into my Prius and seemed very calm at first. Then he seemed to get kinda agitated and disgruntled.

He said to me, "Young man. I'm going to give you some advice. No matter what your state of being or thoughts on the after-life."

I though, "Holy Moses. I'm finally going to learn the meaning of life! From Jesus himself!"

Jesus said, " My Son, no matter what App you work for, you will forever be a slave."

I thought, "Holy Crap. This is NOT what I wanted to hear."

Jesus continued, "My Son, no matter who you work for, it is my opinion that you should never work for LYFT! They double charged my Vatican Credit Card for $25 with no explanation. I couldn't call anyone. And their email responses came straight from Indo-China."

Even Jesus couldn't get a clean ride home.

All of a sudden, Jesus started to direct my ride. Turn here. Turn there. Hey, take it easy, traffic doesn't know Good from Evil.

Jesus started to get an attitude. He said, "Listen, my dad is GOD. He controls light signals. Punk. Just drive."

Luckily, I got Jesus home to his destination, in Silver-Lake.
 

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As I was tooling down Hollywood Blvd, I notice this very tall man with long hair wearing a white cape and sandals taking pictures with Japanese tourists around Hollywood and Highland.

As a resident of Hollywood, I've seen this man before, riding the #2 bus to where ever he lives, most likely the Holy Land of SilverLake.

But, this time I happened to get a "Ping" and it was from Jesus/GOD himself.

He got into my Prius and seemed very calm at first. Then he seemed to get kinda agitated and disgruntled.

He said to me, "Young man. I'm going to give you some advice. No matter what your state of being or thoughts on the after-life."

I though, "Holy Moses. I'm finally going to learn the meaning of life! From Jesus himself!"

Jesus said, " My Son, no matter what App you work for, you will forever be a slave."

I thought, "Holy Crap. This is NOT what I wanted to hear."

Jesus continued, "My Son, no matter who you work for, it is my opinion that you should never work for LYFT! They double charged my Vatican Credit Card for $25 with no explanation. I couldn't call anyone. And their email responses came straight from Indo-China."

Even Jesus couldn't get a clean ride home.

All of a sudden, Jesus started to direct my ride. Turn here. Turn there. Hey, take it easy, traffic doesn't know Good from Evil.

Jesus started to get an attitude. He said, "Listen, my dad is GOD. He controls light signals. Punk. Just drive."

Luckily, I got Jesus home to his destination, in Silver-Lake.
See what this shit does to you
 

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As I was tooling down Hollywood Blvd, I noticed this very tall man with long hair wearing a white cape and sandals taking pictures with Japanese tourists around Hollywood and Highland.

As a resident of Hollywood, I've seen this man before, riding the #2 bus to whereever he lives, most likely the Holy Land of SilverLake.

But, this time I happened to get a "Ping" and it was from Jesus/GOD himself.

He got into my Prius and seemed very calm at first. Then he seemed to get kinda agitated and disgruntled.

He said to me, "Young man. I'm going to give you some advice. No matter what your state of being or thoughts on the after-life."

I though, "Holy Moses. I'm finally going to learn the meaning of life! From Jesus himself!"

Jesus said, " My Son, no matter what App you work for, you will forever be a slave."

I thought, "Holy Crap. This is NOT what I wanted to hear."

Jesus continued, "My Son, no matter who you work for, it is my opinion that you should never work for LYFT! They double charged my Vatican Credit Card for $25 with no explanation. I couldn't call anyone. And their email responses came straight from Indo-China."

Even Jesus couldn't get a clean ride home.

All of a sudden, Jesus started to direct my ride. Turn here. Turn there. Hey, take it easy, traffic doesn't know Good from Evil.

Jesus started to get an attitude. He said, "Listen, my dad is GOD. He controls light signals. Punk. Just drive."

Luckily, I got Jesus home to his destination, in Silver-Lake.
You doubted Jesus that was your big mistake

Matthew 14:30-31


"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

He's not going to tell you its all gumdrops and lollipops man

Matthew 10:34

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
 

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I was golfing in Arizona once and Jesus was my caddie. We got to the 15th and I was 280yds from the pin with every kind of hazard so I asked him for 6 iron, figured I'll leave myself a wedge to the green.

Jesus says no, try the 3 wood.

Jesus are you crazy? I can't reach, especially in this wind.

Trust me you can reach.

Dude, 280 yards. I'm not...

TRUST ME. You can reach.

Yes share the good news so kingdom will come
 

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I was golfing in Arizona once and Jesus was my caddie. We got to the 15th and I was 280yds from the pin with every kind of hazard so I asked him for 6 iron, figured I'll leave myself a wedge to the green.

Jesus says no, try the 3 wood.

Jesus are you crazy? I can't reach, especially in this wind.

Trust me you can reach.

Dude, 280 yards. I'm not...

TRUST ME. You can reach.

Hallelujah Brother !
HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD

Awesome testimony

So many signs and wonders
 

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75,176 Posts
As I was tooling down Hollywood Blvd, I noticed this very tall man with long hair wearing a white cape and sandals taking pictures with Japanese tourists around Hollywood and Highland.

As a resident of Hollywood, I've seen this man before, riding the #2 bus to whereever he lives, most likely the Holy Land of SilverLake.

But, this time I happened to get a "Ping" and it was from Jesus/GOD himself.

He got into my Prius and seemed very calm at first. Then he seemed to get kinda agitated and disgruntled.

He said to me, "Young man. I'm going to give you some advice. No matter what your state of being or thoughts on the after-life."

I though, "Holy Moses. I'm finally going to learn the meaning of life! From Jesus himself!"

Jesus said, " My Son, no matter what App you work for, you will forever be a slave."

I thought, "Holy Crap. This is NOT what I wanted to hear."

Jesus continued, "My Son, no matter who you work for, it is my opinion that you should never work for LYFT! They double charged my Vatican Credit Card for $25 with no explanation. I couldn't call anyone. And their email responses came straight from Indo-China."

Even Jesus couldn't get a clean ride home.

All of a sudden, Jesus started to direct my ride. Turn here. Turn there. Hey, take it easy, traffic doesn't know Good from Evil.

Jesus started to get an attitude. He said, "Listen, my dad is GOD. He controls light signals. Punk. Just drive."

Luckily, I got Jesus home to his destination, in Silver-Lake.
" Jesus just left Chicago ,and he's headed for New Orleans " . . . .

Did you type Amen into the app, cause if you did then within 10 days you will recieve a boat load of money, but if you didnt then something bad will happen, like your weenie will fall off or you will die.
What kind of boat ?
I want a promaster Bass Blaster with the turbo 800 HP engine.
I must do 90 mph when fishing !
I think a $60,000.00 bass boat would look good out front of my trailer . . .
Y'all ever watch the Fishing Channel ?
 

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75,176 Posts
Yeah, Did Jesus give you an offering?
No ,Jesus gave me no offering . . .
But Brother Jimmy Swaggart did at a motel on Airline Highway the other day. . . .

A
You doubted Jesus that was your big mistake

Matthew 14:30-31


"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

He's not going to tell you its all gumdrops and lollipops man

Matthew 10:34

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
AMen !
 

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