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811 Posts
Brian, 31 years old, 4.77 ⭐
Brian lives in Fontana. He deadmiles down here because he was issued a no tresspass order for 1 year from the Ontario Airport. 2 months ago he blew up the Ontario Airport porto potty after eating ARCO chili cheese nachos. The damage was so severe a hazmat team needed to be called in and total damages were $1755. He seemed puzzled when I mentioned the curfew period.
Janet, 47 years old, 4.88 ⭐
I started to ask Janet why she was here at this time and she said "An idle mind is the devils workshop". She then proceeded to tell me I need to ask Jesus to save my soul or face eternal damnation in a place of fire and brimstone. I spent 1 hour and 53 minutes until the Sun began to rise getting preached too before I ran away screaming.
Marvin, 58 years old, 4.59 ⭐
As morning drew upon us I came upon the final person in the queue Marvin. Marvin lives in his XL 1998 Dodge Caravan. I asked him about vehicle age limits and he said something about switching plates with another car in the costco parking lot and forging an inspection. I didnt really follow what he was saying. I asked him about his rating and he said his passengers love his driving, but smell his laundry, and a pee bottle burst on a 110 degree day last summer and the interior has smelled like pee ever since. He said he doesnt have the money to get it cleaned so he gets a low rating. If he gets dectivated he said he wont mind at all because he has an invention. He went on to tell me that there is trillions of dollars worth of gold dissolved in the worlds ocean, and he has the plans for a machine to recover it. He said the trilateral commission and george soros dont want it to get out there so is keeping in under wraps for now but has potential buyers in Far East Asia.
