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Fun with PAX

2K views 10 replies 8 participants last post by  shiftydrake 
#1 · (Edited)
So I find I like to have a little fun with PAX. Especially those who ask if I have a "Real Job".

My spiel starts like this:
No, my family is from old money. I started doing this as something to do to get out of the house more, then I realized I get a lot out of keeping 100 drinkers from driving on the weekends.

Inevitably I then get asked who my family is/was and what they did:).

My answers change but some of my favorites are:

Well, my great great grandfather invented and patented the little plastic things on the end of shoe laces.

My grandfather invented Urinal Mints, his brother invented Pubic Hair Strainers, and the Paper Ass Gaskets in all the public restrooms were Aunt Jezzabell's idea.

During DragonCon I got a kick out of "my Uncle" working closely with NASA on DiLithium Crystals:).

I'm shocked at how far I can get before being called bull shit on. Some never call bull and I truly think they believe me.

One of the more fun ones was doing an Uber Poll on customer satisfaction during a Pool ride lol. That got interesting when we picked up another group of folks that were shopping! Car was PACKED, the 2nd group smelled like week old curry and pack mules and I just HAD to invite them into the poll lol.

The 2nd group had to carry all thier crap in thier laps, tons of frizzy crap that was all over everyone. And the smell, good god it was bad, I mean nose hair curling bad.

So, I popped two breath mints in the ole mouth, making sure all could see and offering no one any. I mean this is Pool after all, no mint fo u. So, of course with safety in mind I make sure windows are UP and the window lock is ON. In the interest of comfort I make sure the heat is on low;-), and proceed to let things simmer. I find 2-3 Icebreakers can abate what would normally gag a maggot.

The first group was mortified and it was all I could do to keep a straight face while asking away 20 questions about how do you like Uber Pool?

Is it the money you saved or the eclectic folks you meet that persuaded you choose Uber Pool?

Do you like meeting up with the other folks that learn where you live after Pooling?

Would you ever date someone you have met via Pool? :)

Isn't this more fun than a paid tour? You really get a full immersion experience. I mean how else can you add 20+/- minutes to a ride in the city.

You folks are lucky, you should see some of the "questionable rides I see", it can get "really" wierd. Know what I mean, grin.

As the first PAX gets out, ask the 2nd group "So 5 stars for all the packages?"

That was the last night I ever have done a Pool ride lol.
 
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#2 ·
So I find I like to have a little fun with PAX. Especially those who ask if I have a "Real Job".

My spiel starts like this:
No, my family is from old money. I started doing this as something to do to get out of the house more, then I realized I get a lot out of keeping 100 drinkers from driving on the weekends.

Inevitably I then get asked who my family is/was and what they did:).

My answers change but some of my favorites are:

Well, my great great grandfather invented and patented the little plastic things on the end of shoe laces.

My grandfather invented Urinal Mints, his brother invented Pubic Hair Strainers, and the Paper Ass Gaskets in all the public restrooms were Aunt Jezzabell's idea.

During DragonCon I got a kick out of "my Uncle" working closely with NASA on DiLithium Crystals:).

I'm shocked at how far I can get before being called bull shit on. Some never call bull and I truly think they believe me.

One of the more fun ones was doing an Uber Poll on customer satisfaction during a Pool ride lol. That got interesting when we picked up another group of folks that were shopping! Car was PACKED, the 2nd group smelled like week old curry and pack mules and I just HAD to invite them into the poll lol.

The 2nd group had to carry all thier crap in thier laps, tons of frizzy crap that was all over everyone. And the smell, good god it was bad, I mean nose hair curling bad.

So, I popped two breath mints in the ole mouth, making sure all could see and offering no one any. I mean this is Pool after all, no mint fo u.

The first group was mortified and it was all I could do to keep a straight face while asking away 20 questions about how do you like Uber Pool?

Is it the money you saved or the eclectic folks you meet that make you choose Uber Pool?

Do you ever meet up with the other folks that learn where you live after Pooling?

Would you ever date someone you have met via Pool? :)

Isn't this more fun than a paid tour? You really get a full immersion experience.

That was the last night I ever have done a Pool ride lol.
Sounds like good clean entertainment.
Occupies the passengers too.
 
#4 ·
Another funny thing I do is hand PAX that are annoying me with sight seeing questions my spare phone with Pokemon Go on it. Tell them to hit all the pokestops to see the landmarks.
 
#6 ·
So I find I like to have a little fun with PAX. Especially those who ask if I have a "Real Job".

My spiel starts like this:
No, my family is from old money. I started doing this as something to do to get out of the house more, then I realized I get a lot out of keeping 100 drinkers from driving on the weekends.

Inevitably I then get asked who my family is/was and what they did:).

My answers change but some of my favorites are:

Well, my great great grandfather invented and patented the little plastic things on the end of shoe laces.

My grandfather invented Urinal Mints, his brother invented Pubic Hair Strainers, and the Paper Ass Gaskets in all the public restrooms were Aunt Jezzabell's idea.

During DragonCon I got a kick out of "my Uncle" working closely with NASA on DiLithium Crystals:).

I'm shocked at how far I can get before being called bull shit on. Some never call bull and I truly think they believe me.

One of the more fun ones was doing an Uber Poll on customer satisfaction during a Pool ride lol. That got interesting when we picked up another group of folks that were shopping! Car was PACKED, the 2nd group smelled like week old curry and pack mules and I just HAD to invite them into the poll lol.

The 2nd group had to carry all thier crap in thier laps, tons of frizzy crap that was all over everyone. And the smell, good god it was bad, I mean nose hair curling bad.

So, I popped two breath mints in the ole mouth, making sure all could see and offering no one any. I mean this is Pool after all, no mint fo u. So, of course with safety in mind I make sure windows are UP and the window lock is ON. In the interest of comfort I make sure the heat is on low;-), and proceed to let things simmer. I find 2-3 Icebreakers can abate what would normally gag a maggot.

The first group was mortified and it was all I could do to keep a straight face while asking away 20 questions about how do you like Uber Pool?

Is it the money you saved or the eclectic folks you meet that persuaded you choose Uber Pool?

Do you like meeting up with the other folks that learn where you live after Pooling?

Would you ever date someone you have met via Pool? :)

Isn't this more fun than a paid tour? You really get a full immersion experience. I mean how else can you add 20+/- minutes to a ride in the city.

You folks are lucky, you should see some of the "questionable rides I see", it can get "really" wierd. Know what I mean, grin.

As the first PAX gets out, ask the 2nd group "So 5 stars for all the packages?"

That was the last night I ever have done a Pool ride lol.
I don't care who you are...that right there is FUNNY!
 
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